Tuesday, January 13, 2009

a + = a - feeling

Hmm, I haven't been here in a while. I would say that I was busying living life, but that's a lie! I was just lazy. I had a pretty interesting break that didn't go at all how I planned. But I can't complain. I won't complain.

During this break I discovered some things about myself. Some things about Steven. And some things about our relationship. We've made plans, changed plans, cancelled plans. Me, I'm always looking to the future. Always, making some plot. And although I've faced some scary things this break I felt safe. I was calm with the thought of having someone like Steven.

I was prepared to change my whole life around, but that wasn't necessary. Sorta wish it was. Kinda disappointed. But I'm glad to have someone like Steven. He makes me so so so so happy. I don't know what it is. I can't quite put my finger on it. But when I fall asleep thinking about him with Brownie in my arms, I think about a future.

I was one of those people that couldn't understand how people could get married right after high school. But I guess if they know for sure that there's no one else they want to be with, then there's no point in waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Hmmm, I don't wanna wait. I guess I finally understand.

Goal for the next 3.5 years : Put at least 10% of my check into my *special savings account*